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ATG Presents: For the kids

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Checking in with the trends and tastes of teens via MTV Charts.

As mentioned, ATG took on the flu last week and spent many hazed mornings alternating between news, sports and eventually, music videos.

On weekdays, MTV programs their top ten videos of the day in the early morning. Like 7 a.m. CST. I don't know what the criterion is, but I'm sure it has to do with sponsors, popularity, sales, imminent contractual appearances. I'd heard few of these songs and seen none of these videos.

Took some notes on what is most popular right now. The freshest. The latest. Feel old and out of touch after the jump.


New Boyz
  • Who? Edgy youngsters that sing-rap, snap, dress like more neon Cool Kids. There's Autotune, skinny jeans, a subtle narrative about picking up girls on MySpace, Ray J not fitting into cameo because he looks too old to party here and is a registered creep.  
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about how lame girlfriends are.
  • Furthering thoughts: Lots of teen angst. It's easy, polished and, despite its use of a trusted chorus device (the "ohhhhhhh" chant featured all over southern records), terrible.





Orianthi
  • Who? Singer-songwriter tween that is a really good guitar player you guys. Your basic teen mall anthem accented with annoying blasts of electric guitar arpeggios built in for legitimacy.  
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about loving yourself and not settling for molding boyfriends.
  • Furthering thoughts: We follow a guitar neck's point of view like a first-person shooter/"Guitar Hero" for most of the video. The guitar neck is lost. The guitar neck is...searching.  Orianthi can certainly wail, but the song is no "Sk8er Boi," and I don't mean that shit ironically.






Ciara and Justin Timberlake
  • Who? Trusted sources for hits and club bangers, JT and Ciara get dirty/nasty/the like.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is either about double entendres for sex or aims to strictly describe magic powers through specific examples. 
  • Furthering thoughts: Somewhere, an adolescent boy is wishing the video's rapid-fire cuts would give way to just Ciara dancing so he can masturbate in peace.






Wyclef Jean and Mavado
  • Who? Clef puts on for Haiti...somewhat vaguely.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about holding on and being strong.
  • Furthering thoughts: Clearly a vehicle for solidarity, but the imagery only alludes to Haiti when the proud country's flag waves. Beyond this token moment, the video details American inner cities, gang violence, and even white collar struggles. "Even when the earth quakes" on the chorus leaves message clear, but video fails to stir up any resonating emotions.






Usher and Plies
  • Who? Synthy jam from Usher off forthcoming new album, Raymond V. Raymond, with requisite rap verse from emerging market.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about strong-arming women into sex because you're famous. 
  • Furthering thoughts: Usher is quietly building an untouchable record, he's owned the genre and Atlanta since 2004. However, I'm discouraged by new LP's title; the inner battle between egos manifested on wax angle for hip-hop output is played.






Kesha
  • Who? Party girl hybrid of Katy Perry/Willa Ford/Paris Hilton/Fergie.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about being ironic and detached with respects towards clubs and scenes; it aims to be played at clubs it mocks and since this has happened thousands of times now, it has won.
  • Furthering thoughts: Like eating glass.






Ludacris
  • Who? Southern boss has smartly made an album entirely with female talent and basically for the ladies, returning to his "What's Your Fantasy?" roots. The move was reportedly an excuse to invite Nicki Minaj to the studio.
  •  What the hook gon be: The song is about dropping that ass on the dancefloor, in the bedroom.
  • Furthering thoughts: Another cartoony classic from Luda comperable to "Saturday" and "Roll Out."







Rihanna and Young Jeezy
  • Who? Hip-hop mainstays get paid.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about projecting toughness by any means necessary and especially when confronted with pussy-ass beats.
  • Furthering thoughts: Rihanna should consider an outside consultant FBO her wack aesthetics.






Jason Derulo
  • Who? Video edited to include snippet of previous hit in expository fashion, that should ring a bell. Also an alarm - videos that begin by validating existence on heels of another hit are destined to live off said hit and ultimately be forgotten.
  • What the hook gon be: The song is about expressing fondness for a crush through Autotune, by break dancing at her real hard.
  • Furthering thoughts: Derulo is talented but I'd lose the mooky rock chords. ATG does not project another hit.

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